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Writer's pictureKathy L. McNair, Esq.

How to Notice Signs Your Aging Loved One May Need Support and Plan for Important Conversations This Holiday Season

As families come together this Thanksgiving, it is a perfect time to check in on one another’s well-being. While Thanksgiving Day may not be the best time to have serious planning discussions, it is an opportunity to observe how aging loved ones manage daily tasks. Small signs—like changes in routine or behavior—can indicate that they may need more support soon. Knowing what to look for and how to start these important conversations can ensure their comfort, safety, and independence in the future. Planning often makes the difference between getting the care that a family member needs to remain living at home or in an assisted living facility rather than being forced to go to a nursing home.


Here’s a guide to recognizing warning signs and starting a conversation about planning and how an elder law attorney can help create a plan that respects their wishes while protecting their future.


Observing Signs: What to Look For During Holiday Gatherings

When a loved one begins to show signs that they might need additional support, it can be subtle. During family gatherings, you may notice small changes in behavior or routines that weren’t apparent before. For example, if your mother, who is known as an excellent cook, begins to make unusual or poorly prepared dishes, this could be a sign of cognitive decline.


Here are a few other signs that could indicate it may be time to think about extra support:


  • Difficulty with Household Tasks: Is there any noticeable decline in cleanliness or upkeep? Are bills piling up or left unpaid?

  • Changes in Physical Appearance or Hygiene: Have they let personal care or grooming habits slide? This can be a sign they’re having trouble with daily tasks.

  • Memory Lapses or Confusion: Are they repeating themselves often, forgetting appointments, or struggling to follow conversations?

  • Mood and Behavior Changes: Withdrawal from social interactions, a shift in mood, or increased anxiety may indicate an underlying issue.


Noticing these signs can help prompt a later conversation about planning for the future without forcing it during a holiday gathering.


When to Have the Conversation—and How to Start It

The holiday season, while family is around, can be a good time to suggest a time to talk about future needs gently. Here’s how to approach it with care:


  1. Choose the Right Moment: Bringing up future planning during Thanksgiving dinner can feel abrupt. Instead, mention that you would love to plan another time to discuss how you can support them.

  2. Express Care, Not Pressure: Start by expressing your concern from a place of care. For example, say, “I noticed you seemed a little more tired lately, and I just want to make sure you’re getting the support you need.”

  3. Suggest Talking in the Future: Consider saying, “Maybe after the holidays, we can sit down and talk about some ways to make sure you have everything you need to stay comfortable at home.” This frames it as a discussion about their well-being rather than a confrontation.


How a Massachusetts Elder Law Attorney Can Help You Plan

Planning for a loved one’s future care can be complex, but an elder law attorney can provide crucial support and guidance. Here are three ways they can assist your family:


  1. Helping Access In-Home Care and Community Services: If your loved one’s goal is to remain at home as long as possible, an elder law attorney can help you explore options for in-home care. They have deep knowledge of state programs, Medicaid benefits, and other resources that can make getting the support they need at home easier.


  2. Protecting Assets While Ensuring Eligibility for Care: Paying for long-term care can be financially overwhelming. Still, an elder law attorney specializes in strategies to protect your loved one’s assets while ensuring they qualify for programs like Medicaid. They’ll help you navigate asset preservation techniques so your loved one can keep their home and resources secure.


  3. Drafting Essential Legal Documents: Elder law attorneys can also assist in updating or creating essential documents like powers of attorney, health care proxies, and wills. These documents provide peace of mind, ensuring your loved one’s wishes are respected and trusted family members can act on their behalf if necessary.


Planning for Conversations Now to Avoid Challenges Later

The holiday season is about coming together, so while it may not be the best day for serious discussions, noticing signs and scheduling a time to talk can make a big difference in future planning.


Working with an elder law attorney not only protects your loved one’s wishes and resources but also gives the family peace of mind. Taking a proactive approach to planning today helps ensure that your loved ones are safe, comfortable, and well-supported as life unfolds.


Senior Solutions, Attorneys at Law, is an Estate Planning and Elder Law firm serving the Greater Boston, Massachusetts area since 2001. We are ready to help you with Medicaid Planning, Estate Planning, Probate, Guardianship & Conservatorships, Special Needs Trusts, and Fiduciary Services. We are here to help. Please call our office at 617-489-5900 or schedule a brief free consultation (offered to new clients) by clicking: https://seniorsolutions.as.me/FreeConsult 

 



 

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