The Dangers of Choosing the Wrong Executor – And How to Get It Right

Choosing the right executor (also called “Personal Representative”) for your estate is one of the most important decisions you will make in your estate plan. This person will handle your assets, pay debts, and ensure that your beneficiaries receive their inheritance. However, choosing the wrong person can lead to delays, financial mismanagement, and even bitter legal battles between family members.

A Costly Family Feud

Consider the case of Mary, a Massachusetts woman who appointed her oldest son as the executor of her estate. She chose him because he lived nearby, and her other children lived out of state.  She also thought he would handle everything fairly.  However, after she died, the reality was much different.

The most valuable asset in Mary’s estate was a three-family home worth $1.5 million.  The son delayed selling the house instead of following the will’s instructions.  He lived in one apartment rent-free and rented out the other units.  He kept all of the rent for himself.  This went on for ten years. His siblings grew frustrated and suspicious, taking legal action to remove him as executor and force the house sale. After years of court proceedings and thousands of dollars in legal fees, the estate was finally settled—but the family was permanently fractured.

This scenario is, unfortunately, not uncommon. An executor’s mismanagement—whether intentional or due to lack of experience—can create unnecessary stress, delay probate, and even lead to lawsuits. So, how can you ensure you choose the right person?

What Makes a Good Executor?

Before you name an executor in your will, consider these key qualities:

• Trustworthiness – This person will be handling your assets and must act in the best interest of your beneficiaries.

• Organizational Skills – Managing an estate requires keeping track of finances, paperwork, and deadlines. It is a part-time job that many people are not able to handle.

• Financial Responsibility – An executor should have some level of financial literacy to manage debts, taxes, and distributions properly.

• Ability to Communicate – They must interact with beneficiaries, creditors, attorneys, and possibly the probate court.

Who Should You Choose?

Many people assume their child is the best choice, but that’s not always the case. Here are some options to consider:

1. A Family Member

• A child, sibling, or close relative is often chosen because they know your wishes.

• However, consider family dynamics—would this person be fair to all heirs and are they capable of handling this complicated job.

• If the potential executor has financial troubles or a history of conflict, they may not be the best choice.

2. A Trusted Friend

• A close, responsible friend with no personal stake in the estate can be a good neutral option. However, you are asking a lot of this person, which may be an unwanted burden.

• They must be willing and capable of handling the responsibility.

• If you name a friend, I recommend leaving them money in your will to acknowledge the work you are asking them to do.

3. A Professional Executor

• If you don’t have anyone who you can count on, your estate is complex or your family has tensions, consider hiring an attorney or professional fiduciary.

• Professionals ensure neutrality and legal compliance but will charge fees for their services.

How to Prevent Disputes

1. Talk to Your Executor in Advance

Before finalizing your estate plan, have a conversation with the person you intend to name as executor. Make sure they are willing and able to take on the role.

2. Consider Naming a Backup Executor

If your first choice cannot serve, having an alternate executor, like an attorney, named in your will ensures the process can continue smoothly.

3. Require Transparency

• Executors should provide regular updates to beneficiaries to prevent suspicion or misunderstandings.

• Consider including a requirement in your will that the executor provide annual accountings.

4. Use a Trust for Added Oversight

A trust can be a powerful tool if you have concerns about how your estate will be handled. A trustee, separate from an executor, can oversee how assets are distributed, ensuring your wishes are followed.

The person you choose as your executor will determine how smoothly your estate is handled after your passing. By selecting someone responsible, setting clear expectations, and considering naming a professional when necessary, you can help prevent family disputes and protect your legacy.

If you do not know who to choose as your executor, we can help you explore your options. Planning today can save your loved ones from unnecessary stress and conflict in the future.

Senior Solutions, Attorneys at Law, is an Estate Planning and Elder Law firm serving the Greater Boston, Massachusetts area since 2001. We are ready to help you with Medicaid Planning, Estate Planning, Probate, Guardianship & Conservatorships, Special Needs Trusts, and Fiduciary Services. We are here to help. Please call our office at 617-489-5900 or schedule a brief consultation (offered to new clients) by clicking the button below:

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