Willingness: The Quality That Can Make or Break Your Estate Plan

My 13-year-old son just returned from a two-week overnight camp. My husband and I missed him terribly, but we knew he was having an incredible experience. At the closing ceremony, the camp gave out awards to honor its four core values. One of those values was Willingness, and our son was chosen for it.

As a proud mom, I know they made an excellent choice.  He is a wonderful boy who has shown willingness throughout his life by stepping up, helping others, and being ready to take on challenges even when they are unfamiliar or hard.  Seeing him recognized for this made me stop and think about what willingness means. Willingness means saying  “Yes, I will help,” and then following through with it.

Willingness is one of the most important, yet overlooked qualities when choosing the people whom you will count on to be there for you in life and who you choose to name in important roles in your estate planning documents.

Why Willingness Matters

Estate planning is more than just drafting legal documents. It is about preparing for the unexpected and ensuring your wishes are carried out by people you trust, even when you are unable to act. 

You may choose someone smart, capable, trustworthy, and responsible… but if they are not willing to take on the responsibility, your plan will fall apart.  Throughout my career as an elder law and estate planning attorney in Massachusetts, I have seen this happen too many times.

The roles in your estate plan are not honorary titles or you picking your favorite people, they are jobs, often challenging ones. If the person you appoint is not ready and willing to take them on, the result can be delay, confusion, or even a court stepping in to appoint someone else, possibly a stranger, to get involved in your life.

The Responsibilities Behind the Roles

Before you choose someone for an important role in your legal documents, it is important to consider the responsibilities and unique demands of each role.  Here a few points to consider:

• Power of Attorney – This job involves managing finances, paying bills, dealing with banks and financial institutions, filing taxes, dealing with your home and real estate, insurance, managing mail.  It can be a time consuming and overwhelming job and the responsibility for another person’s financial protection, stability, and ongoing maintenance.

• Health Care Proxy – This job involves making difficult medical decisions, advocating for your care, sometimes under emotional and time-sensitive circumstances, and making arrangements for end of life care, and long term care needs.

• Executor of a Will – This job involves handling someone’s financial affairs after death, including handling probate, dealing with the court, paying debts, distributing assets, and dealing with paperwork and deadlines.

• Trustee – This job involves managing investments, keeping records, making distributions, ensuring taxes are paid, and following trust instructions for years.

• Guardian of Minors – (if applicable) This job involves caring for children, providing a home, making educational and medical decisions, and caring for the child’s well-being.  It is a serious commitment.

  
  

These responsibilities take time, energy, and emotional resilience. Without willingness, even the most qualified person may not be able, or willing, to serve effectively.

How to Measure Willingness

Before you finalize your plan:

1. Have the conversation: Ask directly if they are comfortable with the role.

   
   

2. Explain the responsibilities: Many people don’t realize the work involved.

   
   

3. Check in over time: Willingness can change as life changes.

   
   

4. Name backups: Always have alternates who are also willing to serve.

   
   

5. Offer support: Let them know you’ll do what you can to set them up for success. Get yourself organized (for helpful tools, visit www.soloallies.com) or read Solo Senior’s Guide to Thrive — which is not just for solo seniors, but for anyone preparing for the future. Please provide them with resources to make the role less overwhelming. For example, our Fiduciary Ally program is ready to support them if and when they need to step in, offering guidance, instruction, and clear information so they can carry out their duties well.

   
   

6. Honor the commitment: You are asking a lot from this person. If it is a friend or family member, it may help to let them know if they will be compensated or included as a beneficiary. Recognizing their effort and the trust you are placing in them helps them feel supported. If you don’t have anyone to rely on, consider hiring a professional to assist you — the www.soloallies.com directory of professionals and our in-office Aging Allies program are both excellent places to start.

   
   

The Right Plan + The Right People = Peace of Mind

Preparing legal documents is the first step toward protecting your future. But a plan on paper is only as strong as the people behind it.

• Do you have people you trust and who are willing to help?

• Have you talked to them about what is involved?

• What is your plan if you don’t have willing people in your life?

  
  

At Senior Solutions, we help our clients not only prepare the right documents but also think through these important conversations so that when the time comes, your wishes will be honored with care, respect, and willingness.

Senior Solutions, Attorneys at Law, is an Estate Planning and Elder Law firm serving the Greater Boston, Massachusetts area since 2001. We are ready to help you with Medicaid Planning, Estate Planning, Probate, Guardianship & Conservatorships, Special Needs Trusts, and Fiduciary Services. We are here to help. Please call our office at 617-489-5900 or schedule a brief consultation (offered to new clients) by clicking the button below:

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